Episode 51 - London V2
Santanders, gnocchi, and many more pints
Everyone always talks about how fast the time flies by, but man, is it true.
It feels like I just landed in London, and here I am, back here already, having finished my grand tour of the British Isles that I’ve dreamed about for so long. Where did the time go, indeed!
If this is your first episode and you’re like “what in the world is happening”, start off here.
Saturday, April 26th, 2025
After a smooth train ride to the Inverness airport from town, it was time for the grandest adventure of all — flying back to London on an easyJet plane.
easyJet, along with Ryanair, are the European budget airlines that famously have super cheap tickets and highway robbery fees. Since the flights are so cheap, they make all their money through a bunch of random fines that you can get, like fees for having too big of a bag, fees for having too big of a bag at the check-in gate, fees for breathing too much air, fees for being too handsome, honestly a fee for everything.
You look at the flight attendant, and they say, “Hol’ up, there’s a fee for that”.
I was hit with one such fee circa December 2023 when I was flying back to London from Morocco, and they got me with the “Sir, your bag is too big and you need to check it in”. Crazy thing was, the flight itself was 19 euros, and the bag check fee was 45. 😭
The way they check your bag size is through a much-dreaded bag-size-checking sign, which is at the front of every easyJet flight. Every bag must fit into this bag checker, else you’re fined a million euros:
On that same flight from Morocco, all those years ago, was a British dude who was also flying back to London, and who had the same size bag as I. But this British bloke was a genius — before getting to the front of the line and getting his bag size checked, he put on every single article of clothing he had and effectively shrunk his bag size down to zero. His backpack fit into the bag checker, he was let onto the plane fine-free, and I was left absolutely blown away and 45 euros poorer.
And so here I was, nearly 2 years later, about to try the very same thing. While waiting for boarding to begin, I put on all my clothes (3 pants, 2 shorts, 4 shirts, 4 jackets), wrapped my towel around my body, and shoved my laptop down my pants. I make it to the front of the line (I’ve never been so nervous standing in a line before), and the lady hits me with the “Sir, can you please check your bag size here” and points at the dreaded bag-size-checker.
She looks skeptical that my bag will fit.
I put my bag in, and it barely doesn’t make it in. I put my knee on my bag, grab the bag-size checker, and am literally putting my entire body weight on this bag and pulling the bag checker up to meet my knee. The bag forces its way in, and the easyJet lady admits that the bag fits.
The Indian-American family behind me bursts into applause. I’ve never felt more proud of myself. I’m the goat. 🐐
I walk onto the airport tarmac in Inverness feeling like the king of the world, and I board the plane victorious. Best part is, before I sit down, I put all my clothes back into my backpack and put it up into the overhead compartment anyway. No fee, bitches. Now that’s a scheme!
I talk with the Indian-American family a bit on the plane (Indian-Americans like they moved from India and now own a cigar store in Delaware, not Native Americans that some people still call American Indians), and I get some quite-unexpected-but-very-welcome recommendations to go travel around Belize and Guatemala because the dude has been there and says it’s great.
We arrive in London Luton literally an hour later, and my first thought is “this is quite generous to call this a ‘London’ airport”. We’re nowhere near London — Luton is 45 miles from the city center and a 30-minute train ride away. That’s like calling the airfield in Stockton, CA, a “San Francisco Airport”. What are you on bro. That ain’t no SF airport. That’s Stockton.
An hour later, I arrive back in Richmond, where I started my journey nearly a month ago. It’s crazy — there were people everywhere, there was so much hustle and bustle, and I honestly couldn’t quite believe that I was back. I headed back to Mum’s house, and caught up with Caroline (Joe’s sister) at home.
It was so surreal to be back, because I was just talking to Marsha about Dublin recs and whatnot a few weeks ago, and here I was again, now talking to her about how that Dublin trip went. The tales were epic, the Polarsteps even more so. Wow
Marsha was off to work at 5 (she works at a super nice pub in town), so I chilled for a bit at home, ate a delicious pizza for dinner, and caught up on my Edinburgh blog. I then decided to support the local economy and headed to The Old Ship (Marsha’s pub) to pay a visit to Marsha herself.
Turns out, I wasn’t able to support the local economy, because Marsha very graciously and completely unexpectedly gave me a free pint of cider! I didn’t end up supporting the local economy, but rather Marsha supported my wallet. Thank you, Marsha!
And within 10 seconds of being poured this delightful free pint, a random dude walks right into me and spills the free pint all over the floor. I am so embarrassed, and come back to Marsha and say something like “Hey Marsha, that free pint you poured me is unfortunately all over the floor now”. I honestly haven’t been that embarrassed in years.
In an extreme stroke of luck, I get another free pint from Marsha (I guarded that pint very carefully, Marsha you’re my hero), and enjoy the evening in The Old Ship before getting kicked out at midnight. I walk back home and go straight to bed. What a day!
Sunday, April 27th
Sunday was a much-needed and lovely day of rest and relaxation, and I spent most of the day with Brooke around London. Just lovely :)
Brooke was on her own UK trip with her UCLA friend Libby, and our paths had intersected once already in Yorkshire. Here we were, 2 weeks later, back together in London!
We had planned to meet up and run to the finish line to see the London Marathon, but due to a severe delay on the District Line from a trespasser, I pulled up 30 minutes late to their hotel in Kensington.
So we scrapped the plan to see the marathon, chilled in Hyde Park for a bit to watch the birds (so many ducks!), and had the best coffee at the same cafe that I went to with Alexandra weeks earlier. What a full circle trip this has been!
Later, we walked around Holland Park (we didn’t see Tom), found three geocaches (Brooke is a pro), and had the most delicious pad Thai to ever pad Thai at a restaurant just north of Hyde Park. Oh my GOODNESS, that was delicious!
Monday, April 29th
Brooke was flying back home to SF today, so we woke up early to get her to the Paddington train station and off to Heathrow by 7:45 am. We got some delicious pain au chocolats pastries on the walk over, I said bye-bye to Brooke, and then she was off to California. Freedom and capitalism await!
I had a free morning to myself in London until Joe arrived in the afternoon, but I was honestly needing a break from the constant go-go-go and decided to chill instead. I spent three hours in the private hostel room finishing up my sci-fi book and drinking lots of delicious, free coffee — honestly, the best vibe ever.
The room checkout was at 11, so eventually I got my shit together, packed up my like 4 things, and headed out to paint the town red. It had been a while since I had been a proper tourist (I’ve been with locals this month, after all!), and I decided it was time to be one.
A few hours later, I realized why I don’t like being a tourist and decided not to do that again for a while. After walking down Regent Street and hanging around Leicester Square for a bit1, I wanted to crawl into a hole and never leave.
I eventually did leave this mental hole, however, and biked down along the Thames to meet up with Joe near Chelsea. And it was on this bike ride that I realized that London is, in fact, too big, just like Joe and Emma told me so many times. It’s so spread out, and Paris is a much better size — the metros there take 20 minutes tops, you could bike pretty much anywhere in 15 minutes, and it doesn’t feel so sprawling. London does, and it’s not the best feeling tbh.
I’m on Team Paris after this trip.
I hadn’t seen Joe since Bristol, and I was sitting on a lovely little bench overlooking the Thames when Joe pulled up, riding a funny little red Santander — London’s version of Paris’s vélib bike sharing system, but a lot jankier. We sat for a bit and caught up on the park bench, then decided to head to Primrose Hill for some pints on our last day in Paris together. As Joe loves to say, it’s a bad day to be a pint!
We made it up to Primrose Hill on some deliciously-charged e-bikes, and it was honestly just so nice to be biking again with Joe. We got some wonderfully cold pints at a lovely little pub, and enjoyed them on the terrace outside along with a few Americans. Joe started chatting them up, and quickly learned that one of the Americans had run the marathon the day before in 2:30:13 and finished 193rd overall.
What the actual fuck. That’s 5:43 a mile. He’s already raced in 4 of the 6 Major marathons2, and joined a random British racing team so that he could run the London race as a pro. Actually insane
Funny enough, the dude works at Santander (the London bike sharing company), and Joe told him that the app needs a healthy dose of American capitalism to fix the UI. It’s currently pretty terrible tbh. The other Americans were school architects, PR agents, and overall mega chillers. Gotta love Americans — now I can say I met someone who designed a school (cafeteria).
After a few hours there, it was time to meet up with Ben and head to Emma’s for dinner. Joe and I took the Tube across town to Old Street and met up with Ben, who himself had gotten a haircut for a crazy 28£. I’d like to mention that mine was free, courtesy of Brooke!
We got some beers, got some crisps, and headed over to Emma’s for a lovely little birthday celebration for Ben — it’s pretty crazy that I managed to make it to his birthday last year in Paris, and here I was again for it in London.
And it was just so wonderful to have everyone back together — we made a delicious gnocchi dinner (I’m again being very generous that I helped make it, I kinda just sat there and looked pretty), gave Ben his birthday card and presents, compared haircuts (mine’s def better), and shared many tales about paper writing and dissertations. I couldn’t contribute much bc I graduated. #flex
Funniest part was, Ben knew that these pictures would end up on the blog. Ben, where else would they go!
Later, we headed to the bar with Billy (Emma’s chap), got many delightful pints (I will miss all these pints), then Joe and I did our classic let’s-finish-Dennis’s-trip-to-Europe-off-with-a-midnight-bike-ride move and Santandered all the way across town to the Waterloo station.
America, here I come!
Some more anthropological observations:
Seeing everyone walk around with their MASSIVE London Marathon medals gave me fomo. I love big medals and want more of them
What in the world is this candy:
Media appendix:
I also stopped by the Wallace Collection for a bit, but I’ve learned that there is a limit to how many paintings one can appreciate on a single vacation. I think I reached my limit in Bristol three weeks ago
He did London, Berlin, Boston, and NYC, and only has Sydney and Tokyo left
Notting Hill Coffee Project!!